All That's Left
by emsiok
Summary: He's all that's left now. First fanfic. Four viewpoints, Lily, James, Sirius, and Remus. James and Lily die, Sirius is thrown in Azkaban, and Remus is left behind. Nothing is the same.
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I own nothing of Harry Potter! Except, posters, games, books,etc. Point being, I'm not J.K._

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How could he have done this to us? We were his friends.

"Lily take Harry and go. I'll hold him off as long as I can."

_I won't be able to. He's too powerful. There's no way out._

"James-"

"Lily, there's no time! Go!"

_He'll be here soon… and then…I die._

"ah…Potter. But where is your pretty wife? Trying to buy some time for that worthless mudblood? It will never work. When Lord Voldemort decides to kill someone they die. It will never work"

_God, I know. But I have to try._

"Tell me where your son is."

_Never_

"You need not be hurt if you just tell me.'

_He lies._

"Just tell me Potter."

_No, Harry! Don't cry now._

"Fight me like a real man you coward! Did you expect me to beg my lord?"

"So you want to duel?"

_No, I don't want to duel. I just want out of this alive. But that doesn't look like it's going to happen does it?_

"Very well, let us duel. First we bow to each other. Come now, the niceties must be observed. Dumbledore wouldn't want you to be rude"

_I will not bow to a tyrant_

"Imperio!"

_I will not bow!_

"Ah, you think you can stand against me? Crucio! Now then lets try again James, bow."

_I WILL NOT BOW!_

"Potter, why resist? You will only tire faster. There will be no salvation for you. Dumbledore isn't here to save you now."

_I have to give Lily more time_

"Ah, trying to save your wife? Still? Ah, well, I tire of this little game James. AVADA KEDAVRA!"

* * *

_How could he have done this to us? We were his friends._

"Lily take Harry and go. I'll hold him off as long as I can."

_He won't be able to. He's too powerful. There's no way out._

"James-"

"Lily, there's no time! Go!"

_He'll be here soon… then what will I do? I have to get Harry._

_I can hear him. He's here. James…_

_They're fighting. James was always brave. No, I don't have time for this. I have to get Harry._

_James will be alright. He will be. I'll just get Harry and we'll meet up with him later._

"No Harry. Shh…Harry please don't cry now… he'll be alright."

_He has to be._

"Come on Harry, were just going out for a bit. I promise, he'll be…"

"AVADA KEDAVRA!"

_NO!_

"Stand aside you silly girl."

"No, not Harry!"

"I said stand aside!"

"No kill me! Don't hurt him!"

"AVADA KEDAVRA!"

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He's all that's left now. Our son. If onlythatis enough.

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	2. Chapter 2

I knew I had to get to that house. Don't ask me how I knew, believe me, I don't know. I just knew I had to check, see they were alive. Or rather, _not_ see, since I was no longer their secret keeper. That role belong solely to Peter now. If I went there and I couldn't find them or their house, I knew it would be all right. Peter wouldn't have betrayed them. But if I saw anything, I knew they were gone.

Not that I didn't trust Peter. God no! Then, I loved Peter, loved him more then I thought I could ever love that little twerpy kid who tagged around with the three of us. James and Remus always accepted him completely, but somehow, he never quiet clicked with me.

But that night, I was putty in his hands. He was protecting James and Lily! He was putting his life on the line for James and Lily! My best friends! (well, those two and Remus). And more importantly, he was protecting their son, Harry. Even at one year of age, he had looked like his dad. Except his eyes. He had the most beautiful eyes. I've never told anyone this,probably never will, but I've always loved kids. I would like to settle down and start my own little clan one day, except I could never find the right girl. I was a loner love wise, through and through.

But Harry, he was a different story. Is it possible to love a kid that much when he isn't yours? Because, god, I loved Harry. He was perfect. Lily jokes- joked- about how she had to watch out to make sure I didn't kidnap him, just so I could have him to myself. I never told her, but a couple of times, I was seriously thinking about it. Well, not really, except, yeah I kind of was.

Anyway, I got there that night. It was… hard. What I saw. Rubble all over. Nothing left of the carefully prepared house the couple had tried to make a home. Nothing left of my friends, nothing left. There were police all over. Picking through the wreckage, trying to figure out what type of bomb had done this. They never found anything of course.

Hagrid was there. It melted my heart to see him trying to answer the questions the police put to him before they let him have Harry. Yes, Harry was alive. I couldn't tell if the tears in my eyes were for James and Lily, or for their son. Or maybe they were for me. I didn't know what would happen next. James had always been there, since I was, what? Six? Yeah, I was six when we met. Some party our parents had for pureblood families. God those were torture. They just dropped us kids off in a room and told us to mingle. I met James there. He showed me his favorite chocolate frog card. I showed him my annoying little brother. Regulus spat on him and tried to bite his hand. We were best friends ever since. Now, he was gone, and it wasn't like those times when we separated for the summer. This was forever.

I went up to Hagrid. He had managed to get little Harry from the policemen.

"Give him to me Hagrid. I'm his Godfather."

"Sorry Sirius, I cahn't" he sniffed. I felt my own tear fall.

"Why Hagrid? I need him! Please?" I didn't care if I sounded whiny. I realy needed my godson, right now.

"Dumbledore's ordered. He's to go to his family"

"His family? I'm his family Hagrid! Not those muggles! They can't take care of him, not like I can."

"I can't! Dumbledore's orders!" long pause. "I can't believe… Lily and James… I can't think of a life with out them." Join the club, I wanted to spit in his face. Didn't he think I knew? "Dumbledore said something about there secret keeper betrayin' them. You wouldn' know anythin' abou' that would ya?"

I hesitated. Then, "no. No I wouldn't" well, Peter was my friend! I wanted the whole story before I condemned him. I had to talk to Peter. "Hagrid!" I had an idea. "Take my motorbike!"

"Take your what?" he was incredulous.

"Yeah! Get Harry there faster. Watch out for him please? If something happens to me, just… just keep an eye on him, okay? And take my bike. I won't need it anymore."

"But Sirius-"

"Go Hagrid! It's not safe out tonight."

I didn't want to tell him this, especially not in front of Harry (I know, he was a year old, he can't hear, but still), I was going after Peter. And if he was still alive, I would kill him.

It wasn't hard to find him. He was trying to find me. I had my wand out when we met. I knew when I saw him; he had gone over, fully and completely. His eyes glittered with malice. He spoke first, like a well-rehearsed play, loud and carrying.

"Lily and James Sirius how could you?"

I talked quietly; this was between the two of us. Not every muggle on the street. "Peter you scum! You always were a rat! What did he promise you? Fame, power, wealth? Women, happiness, nice new toys? Was it so much better then what we had? A life with out guilt, a life with friends? But you don't need friends, you have death eaters."

His eyes clouded over. "The dark lord, you have no idea… the powers he posseses… terrible. What would you have done?" his voice was quiet during those sentences.

"I would have died rather then betray them!"

"That can be arranged!" the malice returned.

He fiddled with his wand, and before I could make a move, the street blew out. Twelve muggles fell, dead. Peter dropped something. Before the smoke cleared, he morphed into a rat and was gone.

I'm sitting here, waiting for a trial that I know will never come. I've been here for days. I thought Dumbledore would help, he knew about the switch, but I guess he was too busy celebrating the downfall of Voldemort to think of those of us who got trampled in the parade.

I think a lot down here. There's not much else to do. I think about Harry. I hope he's happy, but somehow, I feel he isn't. I think about Peter, the dirty traitor. I think a lot about Remus. How is he coping with this? His best friend causing the death of his two other best friends. Mostly, I think about James, and Lily, and how long it will be until I follow them. Not long I'm sure.

Besides thinking, sometimes I can convince some one to slip me a newspaper. I've got two, from a girl who brought it for her boyfriend, and from a little boy who brought it for his mother, only to find she had died. There was an article about Lily and James memorial. Tons of people showed up. There was an article about Harry. They say he is "in hiding".

The only other thing to do here is to deal with dementors. It's become almost a pastime for me. Like skydiving, dangerous and exhilarating. They think I'm not affected by them. I am. I can barely stave off true despair by changing form once in awhile. I still see that moment, when I landed. When I see the wreckage of my old life.

I see other things to. When I found out that Remus was a werewolf. When my first fling told me it "wasn't serious, Sirius." When my long time girlfriend died. When James left for his honeymoon and left me for six months (hey, he'd said he'd be back in a week! That was terrifying for me!) When they took Harry away. When Peter framed me.

They've questioned me a lot. They keep asking, when it was all over, when Peter had "died", why did I laugh? Why did I throw back my head and laugh?

I tell them the same thing every time:

It is all that's left.


	3. Chapter 3

Dear Harry:

I know you will probably never read this letter. Dumbledore says you can have very limited contact with the wizarding world until you're eleven. But even so, I still want to write all this down. So… here goes.

I went to see Sirius the day after he was caught. I couldn't stop thinking, wow. I mean it was hard to wrap my mind around. I never thought I would ever see a time when I, Remus Lupin, perfect little prefect, studious intellectual wouldn't be able to understand something. Hell, by the time I was fourteen, I had read all the books that Hogwarts had on lycanthropy, (the state of being a werewolf to the layperson). But for all my mighty studying powers, I still didn't understand. After Lily and James died, I went back to the library and borrowed some books on death and dying and grief. It didn't help.

Maybe it was because when I studied as a kid, Lily was always there with me. We were great friends; I knew her better then even James, at least, until they got married.

Then again, maybe I didn't understand because I didn't want to believe they were both gone.

You know, Lily was my first major crush. Back a few months before she and your dad started to date. Prongs was so mad at me when I told him! But don't worry Harry; I got over that pretty quickly. Actually, I think I started to date Peter's girlfriend after that. She died awhile ago. Her name was Mindy, she was really sweet. If she was still here, she might have been your godmother.

Well, I don't know if you know this, but Sirius was your godfather. He was the one who betrayed your parents. When I went to visit him, in Azkaban, I didn't know what to say. I walked up to his cell. There were dementors everywhere, he's maximum security. Well he was just curled up on the floor, crying. He looked up when he heard my footsteps coming near him.

"Remus," his voice sounded raspy, "Remus, I am so sorry. But you have to believe me Moony! I didn't do it! I swear! I…" he trailed off as a dementor came closer. "No! No, not James, please! They can't be dead! They can't! They…" he fainted.

It turned out I didn't have to say anything.

Do you know what Harry? I want to forgive him. Maybe then I wouldn't feel so alone in all this, if I had some one to talk to. But I don't think I could go back there. Not now, probably never.

This sounds terrible, but sometimes, I feel more sorrow for Sirius then Peter. Well, Peter's well out of it. Sirius will be there in that cell for the little bit of life he has left.

Peter was different from the rest of us. He had so little in common with us really. I always wondered how he had ended up in Gryffindor. But, I suppose he showed why in the end.

It's interesting how Sirius ended up no better then his brother. Worse actually. But, he always said he hated everything his brother stood for. He was happy when he died. No, not happy. Relieved maybe. He always felt responsible for his dear little brother. Little brat, spoiled as hell. Both of them really. And your dad too.

I remember when Sirius and James came over to my house one summer. They didn't say anything, even though we didn't have anything. If you ever go to your dad's old house, you'll see what I mean. Think diamond chandeliers. Chandeliers with an s as in multiple. My mother didn't have a diamond to her name.My dad was from a pureblood family, but they had disowned him for marrying a muggle.

Anyway, that's besides the point. They really were the best of friends. I'm still trying to figure out what happened. Why would he do that? Do you know Harry? If you ever figure it out, will you tell me?

It wasn't for power. Sirius was powerful enough with out Voldemort's help. Not the most powerful, but still he was quiet good. And not for money. James and Lily could give him as much as he wanted, though usually he refused it.

I tried to refuse their money too. When I turned eighteen, James had me and Sirius come live with him. But then of course, he and Lily got married, and that was the end of that. Not that he kicked us out! No, we said we'd go. Well, Sirius had enough money to rent a small room, but no such luck for me. I stayed down at an inn in Hogsmeade until I nearly out of money. I tried to get a job, but no one would hire me. I was having trouble buying food, and never bought new clothes. I never told anyone, but one day, I went to pay for that weeks rent, and was told someone had already paid in full for the next six months.

Did you know I asked Dumbledore to let me take care of you? He said no, which I guess makes sense. If you haven't figured it out yet, I'm a werewolf. Just think what a scandal that would've caused! Boy who lived gets bitten by werewolf guardian.

Anyway, I've gone way off topic here. Remember Harry, your parents were wonderful people. They never backed down from what they believed. It's why they're gone and you're here.

I really wish I could talk to you face to face, but Dumbledore says no and we all have to do what he says. Like I said, you'll probably never get this letter. Even so, I'll keep writing. You are my last contact to them, to Peter, Lily, James. And Sirius. The two of us, well we're all that's left.

-Moony


End file.
